Google has been useless in answering my question if earwigs bite.
Wikipedia gave me no direct answer. However, they did let me know that earwigs don't really burrow into the brains of humans through the ear and lay their eggs. Thanks, Wikipedia. I was really worried about that.
Some website sources say they don't bite, but they can pinch. Others say they don't pinch, but they do bite. And some other sources say they don't do either but release some liquid from their abdomen that stings you. Sources also vary between their bite/pinch/sting doesn't hurt to it hurts very badly. I would say it hurt pretty bad. Worse than a bee sting.
Also, according to the Internets, they have wings?!? I guess they can fly but they prefer to travel on people and other various objects.
What a mysterious creature.